When you’re faced with selecting a poem for a funeral service, you’ll discover there’s much more to reflect upon than simply finding verses that sound appropriate. From Mary Elizabeth Frye’s comforting words in “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” to W.H. Auden’s raw emotion in “Funeral Blues,” each poem carries its own power to touch hearts and honour memories in unique ways.
Whether you’re seeking traditional elegance, contemporary wisdom, or even gentle humour, the right funeral poem can transform a farewell into a meaningful tribute that captures the essence of your loved one. This comprehensive guide explores the diverse world of funeral poetry to help you find the perfect verses for your memorial service.
Why Funeral Poems Matter in Memorial Services
Funeral poems and verses serve as powerful tools for expressing grief, celebrating life, and providing comfort during one of life’s most difficult moments. These carefully chosen words can:
- Offer universal themes that resonate with diverse audiences
- Articulate feelings that are difficult to express
- Provide solace and healing to mourners
- Celebrate the unique character of the deceased
- Create memorable moments of reflection during the service
Traditional Funeral Poems
While coping with loss, traditional funeral poems offer timeless wisdom and solace to those grieving. You’ll find these carefully crafted verses speak directly to the heart, addressing universal themes of love, remembrance, and the enduring impact of those who have passed.
Most Popular Traditional Funeral Poems
The following classic verses have provided comfort to countless families:
- Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep – Mary Elizabeth Frye
- God’s Garden – Melissa Shreve
- The Lord’s My Shepherd – Psalm 23
- She Is Gone – David Harkins
- Death Is Nothing at All – Henry Scott Holland
- Remember – Christina Rossetti
- Life’s Journey – Timothy Coote
- Safely Home – Unknown
- Crossing the Bar – Alfred Lord Tennyson
- The Fallen Limb – Unknown
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep – Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
God’s Garden – Melissa Shreve
God looked around his garden
And found an empty place,
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest.
God’s garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain.
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb.
So he closed your weary eyelids
And whispered, ‘Peace bethine’.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
The Lord’s My Shepherd – Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
She Is Gone (He Is Gone) – David Harkins
She Is Gone (He Is Gone)
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Death Is Nothing at All – Henry Scott Holland
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Remember – Christina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Life’s Journey – Timothy Coote
There is a train at the station
With a seat reserved just for me
I’m excited about its destination
As I’ve heard it sets you free
The trials and tribulations
The pain and stress we breathe
Don’t exist where I am going
Only happiness I believe
I hope that you will be there
To wish me on my way
It’s not a journey you can join in
It’s not your time today
There’ll be many destinations
Some are happy, some are sad
Each one a brief reminder
Of the great times that we’ve had
Many friends I know are waiting
Who took an earlier train
To greet and reassure me
That nothing has really changed
We’ll take the time together
To catch up on the past
To build a new beginning
One that will always last
One day you’ll take your journey
On the train just like me
And I promise that I’ll be there
At the station and you will see
That life is just a journey
Enriched by those you meet
No-one can take that from you
It’s always yours to keep
But now as no seat is vacant
You will have to muddle through
Make sure you fulfil your ambitions
As you know I’ll be watching you
And if there’s an occasion
To mention who you knew
Speak kindly of that person
As one day it will be you
Now I can’t except this ending
And as it’s time for me to leave
Please make haste to the reception
To enjoy my drinks, they’re free!
Safely Home – Unknown
I am home in heaven, dear ones;
All's so happy, all so bright!
There's perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.
All the pain and grief are over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in heaven at last.
Did you wonder I so calmly
Trod the Valley of the Shade?
Oh! but Jesus' love illumined
Every dark and fearful glade.
And He came Himself to meet me
On that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on,
Could I have one doubt or dread?
Then you must not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still;
Try to look beyond earth's shadows,
Pray to trust our Father's will.
There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idle stand;
Do your work while life remaineth —
You shall rest in Jesus' land.
When that work is all completed,
He will gently call you home;
Oh, the rapture of the meeting!
Oh, the joy to see you come!
Crossing the Bar – Alfred Lord Tennyson
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
The Fallen Limb – Unknown
A limb has fallen from the family tree.
I keep hearing a voice that says,
“Grieve not for me.
Remember the best times,
the laughter, the song.
The good life I lived
while I was strong.
Continue my heritage,
I’m counting on you.
Keep smiling and surely
the sun will shine through.
My mind is at ease,
my soul is at rest.
Remembering all,
how I truly was blessed.
Continue traditions,
no matter how small.
Go on with your life,
don’t worry about falls.
I miss you all dearly,
so keep up your chin.
Until the day comes
we’re together again.”
Short Funeral Poems
Short funeral poems pack profound emotion and meaning into just a few carefully chosen lines. Their brevity makes them particularly effective during memorial services, where they can touch hearts without overwhelming those who are grieving.
Benefits of Short Funeral Verses
- Suitable for multiple readings throughout the service
- Easier to read during emotional moments
- Perfect for eulogies or standalone readings
- Less overwhelming for grieving audience members
- A Life Well Lived – Unknown
- Remember Me – Margaret Mead
- Let Me Go – Christina Rossetti
- Afterglow – Helen Lowrie Marshall
- Gone From My Sight – Henry Van Dyke
- Life – Mother Teresa
- Away – James Whitcomb Riley
- Peace – Sara Teasdale
- Because I could not stop for death – Emily Dickinson
- Celebrate My Life – Donna Nimmo
A Life Well Lived – Unknown
A life well lived is a precious gift
Of hope and strength and grace,
From someone who has made our world
A brighter, better place
It’s filled with moments, sweet and sad
With smiles and sometimes tears,
With friendships formed and good times shared
And laughter through the years.
A life well lived is a legacy
Of joy and pride and pleasure,
A living, lasting memory
Our grateful hearts will treasure
Remember Me – Margaret Mead
To the living, I am gone,
To the sorrowful, I will never return,
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart:
Your thoughts, and your memories,
Of the times we loved,
The times we cried,
The times we fought,
The times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.
Let Me Go – Christina Rossetti
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.
Afterglow – Helen Lowrie Marshall
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
Gone From My Sight – Henry Van Dyke
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying...
Life – Mother Teresa
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is a beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
life is a challenge, meet it.
life is a duty, complete it.
life is a game, play it.
life is costly, care for it.
life is wealth, keep it.
life is love, enjoy it.
life is mystery, know it.
life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is a sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is Life, fight for it!
Away – James Whitcomb Riley
I cannot say, and I will not say
That he is dead - . He is just away!
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand
He has wandered into an unknown land,
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.
And you - O you, who the wildest yearn
For the old-time step and the glad return - ,
Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here;
And loyal still, as he gave the blows
Of his warrior-strength to his country's foes- .
Mild and gentle, as he was brave- ,
When the sweetest love of his life he gave
To simple things - : Where the violets grew
Blue as the eyes they were likened to,
The touches of his hands have strayed
As reverently as his lips have prayed:
When the little brown thrush that harshly chirred
Was dear to him as the mocking-bird;
And he pitied as much as a man in pain
A writhing honey-bee wet with rain - .
Think of him still as the same, I say:
He is not dead - he is just away!
Peace – Sara Teasdale
Peace flows into me
As the tide to the pool by the shore;
It is mine forevermore,
It ebbs not back like the sea.
I am the pool of blue
That worships the vivid sky;
My hopes were heaven-high,
They are all fulfilled in you.
I am the pool of gold
When sunset burns and dies, —
You are my deepening skies,
Give me your stars to hold.
Because I could not stop for death – Emily Dickinson
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
We slowly drove, He knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For His civility.
We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.
Or rather, He passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.
We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.
Since then 'tis centuries, but yet
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were towards eternity.
Celebrate My Life – Donna Nimmo
Don't mourn for me when i've expired
Simply think of it as a life retired
Remember the good times we shared
Celebrate my life and know i cared
Rejoice that i've gone to a wonderful place
And when you come, once more embrace
For life is just, a very short ride
I'll always be here, in spirit reside
Happy and Funny Funeral Poems
Although grief often calls for solemn reflection, happy and funny funeral poems offer an invigorating way to celebrate your loved one’s vibrant spirit and joyful moments. You’ll find that incorporating humour into memorial services can help attendees process their grief while remembering the lighter side of your loved one’s personality.
When to Choose Uplifting Funeral Poems
Consider lighthearted verses when:
- The deceased specifically requested a less sombre service
- The deceased had a great sense of humour
- The family prefers a celebration of life approach
- You want to balance emotional moments with joy
- A Long Cup of Tea – Michael Ashby
- Pardon Me for Not Getting Up – Kelly Roper
- Gone Fishing – Dalmar Pepper
- Last Will and Testament – Max Scratchmann
- Into the Sunset – Samuel Hall Young
- I Didn’t Go To Church Today – Ogden Nash
A Long Cup of Tea – Michael Ashby
Death is too negative for me
So I'll be popping off for a long cup of tea
Do splash out on two bags in the pot
And for my god's sake keep the water hot
Please pick the biggest mug you can find
Size really does matter at this time
I'll pass on the lapsang with that souchong
And that stuff with bergamot
And stick with my favourite friend
You know the English breakfast blend
Breakfast! thanks for reminding me
There's just time before I fail
To stand on ceremony
Two rashers of best back, Should keep me
Smelling sweet up the smokestack
So, mother, put the kettle on for me
It's time, mother, for my long cup of tea
Pardon Me for Not Getting Up – Kelly Roper
Oh dear, if you’re reading this right now,
I must have given up the ghost.
I hope you can forgive me for being
Such a stiff and unwelcoming host.
Just talk amongst yourself my friends,
And share a toast or two.
For I am sure you will remember well
How I loved to drink with you.
Don’t worry about mourning me,
I was never easy to offend.
Feel free to share a story at my expense
And we’ll have a good laugh at the end.
Gone Fishing – Dalmar Pepper
I've finished life's chores assigned to me,
So put me on a boat headed out to sea.
Please send along my fishing pole
For I've been invited to the fishin' hole.
Where every day is a day to fish,
To fill your heart with every wish.
Don't worry, or feel sad for me,
I'm fishin' with the Master of the sea.
We will miss each other for awhile,
But you will come and bring your smile.
That won't be long you will see,
Till we're together you and me.
To all of those that think of me,
Be happy as I go out to sea.
If others wonder why I'm missin'
Just tell 'em I've gone fishin'
Last Will and Testament – Max Scratchmann
I suppose, one day, I will be dead and go to meet my maker,
So have this note set in my hand, there for the undertaker,
Don’t dress me in a shroud of white or rouge my cheeks all red,
It is not right, to look a fright, e’en though you’re stone cold dead.
Give me a brand new five pound note and a Visa credit card,
I want to buy a proper plot in old St Peter’s yard,
And as I sit upon my cloud and look down at the earth,
I'll watch you use my worldly goods for festival and mirth,
And that will make me smile a smile, and have a laugh quite hearty,
To hear you say, the bugger’s dead, let’s have ourselves a party.
Into the Sunset – Samuel Hall Young
Let me die, working.
Still tackling plans unfinished, tasks undone!
Clean to its end, swift may my race be run.
No laggard steps, no faltering, no shirking;
Let me die, working!
Let me die, thinking.
Let me fare forth still with an open mind,
Fresh secrets to unfold, new truths to find,
My soul undimmed, alert, no question blinking;
Let me die, thinking!
Let me die, laughing.
No sighing o'er past sins; they are forgiven.
Spilled on this earth are all the joys of heaven;
Let me die, laughing!
I Didn’t Go To Church Today – Ogden Nash
I didn't go to church today,
I trust the Lord to understand.
The surf was swirling blue and white,
The children swirling on the sand.
He knows, He knows how brief my stay,
How brief this spell of summer weather,
He knows when I am said and done
We'll have plenty of time together
Famous Funeral Poems
Throughout literary history, certain funeral poems have gained widespread recognition for their profound ability to articulate grief and healing. These timeless works have resonated with generations of mourners, offering comfort and expressing sentiments that many find difficult to articulate.
Among the most celebrated funeral poems, you’ll find pieces that address different aspects of loss and remembrance some examples of which are below:
- If I Should Go – Joyce Grenfell
- Funeral Blues – W.H. Auden
- Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night – Dylan Thomas
- She Walks in Beauty – Lord Byron
- Sonnet 73 – William Shakespeare
- Nothing Gold Can Stay – Robert Frost
- When I Am Dead, My Dearest – Christina Rossetti
- The Road Not Taken – Robert Frost
- If – Rudyard Kipling
If I Should Go – Joyce Grenfell
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is Hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.
Funeral Blues – W.H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night – Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
She Walks in Beauty – Lord Byron
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
Sonnet 73 – William Shakespeare
That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see'st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west,
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the death-bed whereon it must expire,
Consum'd with that which it was nourish'd by.
This thou perceiv'st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.
Nothing Gold Can Stay – Robert Frost
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
When I Am Dead, My Dearest – Christina Rossetti
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.
I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
The Road Not Taken – Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
If – Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Non-Religious and Humanist Poems
For those seeking secular expressions of remembrance, non-religious and humanist funeral poems provide meaningful ways to honour loved ones without traditional spiritual references. These poems focus on universal themes that resonate with people of all beliefs, emphasising how love lasts beyond physical presence through cherished memories and lasting impacts.
Benefits of Secular Funeral Poetry
- Celebrate human connections and memories
- Inclusive for diverse beliefs and backgrounds
- Focus on universal human experiences
- Emphasise natural imagery and life’s beauty
Popular Non-Religious Funeral Poems
- The Dash – Linda Ellis
- When Tomorrow Starts Without Me – David Romano
- The Summer Day – Mary Oliver
- The Peace of Wild Things – Wendell Berry
- Wild Geese – Mary Oliver
The Dash – Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning to the end.
He noted first came the date of the birth and spoke the following date with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between the years.
For that dash represents all the time
that they spent life on Earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own,
the cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love,
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
with your life’s actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me – David Romano
When tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I’d have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could re-live yesterday
Just even for a while,
I’d say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates,
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.
He said, “This is eternity,
And all I’ve promised you.”
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day’s the same way
There’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn’t do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart.
The Summer Day – Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean —
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
The Peace of Wild Things – Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Wild Geese – Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Unusual Funeral Poetry
Moving beyond traditional expressions of grief, unusual funeral poetry opens up fresh perspectives on remembrance and loss. These contemporary works offer alternatives to conventional readings, incorporating modern language and themes that resonate with diverse audiences.
Examples of Unusual Funeral Poems
- Dirge Without Music – Edna St. Vincent Millay
- The Ship of Death – D.H. Lawrence
- The Laughing Heart – Charles Bukowski
- Epitaph – Merrit Malloy
- Thanatopsis – William Cullen Bryant
- The Vacuum – Howard Nemerov
Dirge Without Music – Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,—
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
The Ship of Death – D.H. Lawrence
1. Now it is autumn and the falling fruit
and the long journey towards oblivion.
The apples falling like great drops of dew
to bruise themselves an exit from themselves.
And it is time to go, to bid farewell to one's own self,
and find an exit from the fallen self.
2. Have you built your ship of death, O have you?
O build your ship of death, for you will need it.
The grim frost is at hand, when the apples will fall
thick, almost thundrous, on the hardened earth.
And death is on the air like a smell of ashes!
Ah! can't you smell it?
And in the bruised body, the frightened soul
finds itself shrinking, wincing from the cold
that blows upon it through the orifices.
3. And can a man his own quietus make
with a bare bodkin?
With daggers, bodkins, bullets, man can make
a bruise or break of exit for his life;
but is that a quietus, O tell me, is it quietus?
Surely not so! for how could murder, even self-murder
ever a quietus make?
4. O let us talk of quiet that we know,
that we can know, the deep and lovely quiet
of a strong heart at peace!
How can we this, our own quietus, make?
5. Build then the ship of death, for you must take
the longest journey, to oblivion.
And die the death, the long and painful death
that lies between the old self and the new.
Already our bodies are fallen, bruised, badly bruised,
already our souls are oozing through the exit
of the cruel bruise.
Already the dark and endless ocean of the end
is washing in through the breaches of our wounds,
already the flood is upon us.
Oh build your ship of death, your little ark
and furnish it with food, with little cakes, and wine
for the dark flight down oblivion.
6. Piecemeal the body dies, and the timid soul
has her footing washed away, as the dark flood rises.
We are dying, we are dying, we are all of us dying
and nothing will stay the death-flood rising within us
and soon it will rise on the world, on the outside world.
We are dying, we are dying, piecemeal our bodies are dying
and our strength leaves us,
and our soul cowers naked in the dark rain over the flood,
cowering in the last branches of the tree of our life.
7. We are dying, we are dying, so all we can do
is now to be willing to die, and to build the ship of death
to carry the soul on the longest journey.
A little ship, with oars and food
and little dishes, and all accoutrements
fitting and ready for the departing soul.
Now launch the small ship, now as the body dies
and life departs, launch out, the fragile soul
in the fragile ship of courage, the ark of faith
with its store of food and little cooking pans
and change of clothes,
upon the flood's black waste
upon the waters of the end
upon the sea of death, where still we sail darkly,
for we cannot steer, and have no port.
There is no port, there is nowhere to go
only the deepening blackness darkening
still blacker upon the soundless, ungurgling flood
darkness at one with darkness, up and down
and sideways utterly dark, so there is no direction any more
and the little ship is there; yet she is gone.
She is not seen, for there is nothing to see her by.
She is gone! gone! and yet
somewhere she is there.
Nowhere!
8. And everything is gone, the body is gone
completely under, gone, entirely gone.
The upper darkness is heavy as the lower,
between them the little ship is gone
she is gone.
It is the end, it is oblivion.
9. And yet out of eternity a thread
separates itself on the blackness,
a horizontal thread
that fumes a little with pallor upon the dark.
Is it illusion? or does the pallor fume
A little higher?
Ah wait, wait, for there's the dawn
the cruel dawn of coming back to life
out of oblivion.
Wait, wait, the little ship
drifting, beneath the deathly ashy grey
of a flood-dawn.
Wait, wait! even so, a flush of yellow
and strangely, O chilled wan soul, a flush of rose.
A flush of rose, and the whole thing starts again.
10. The flood subsides, and the body, like a worn sea-shell
emerges strange and lovely.
And the little ship wings home, faltering and lapsing
on the pink flood,
and the frail soul steps out, into the house again
filling the heart with peace.
Swings the heart renewed with peace
even of oblivion.
Oh build your ship of death. Oh build it!
For you will need it.
For the voyage of oblivion awaits you.
The Laughing Heart – Charles Bukowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
Epitaph – Merrit Malloy
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do,
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.
Thanatopsis – William Cullen Bryant
To him who in the love of Nature holds
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language; for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty, and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And healing sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over thy spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house,
Make thee to shudder, and grow sick at heart;—
Go forth, under the open sky, and list
To Nature’s teachings, while from all around—
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air—
Comes a still voice— Yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where thy pale form was laid, with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist
Thy image. Earth, that nourished thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolved to earth again,
And, lost each human trace, surrendering up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix for ever with the elements,
To be a brother to the insensible rock
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould.
Yet not to thine eternal resting-place
Shalt thou retire alone, nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down
With patriarchs of the infant world—with kings,
The powerful of the earth—the wise, the good,
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulchre. The hills
Rock-ribbed and ancient as the sun,—the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The venerable woods—rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks
That make the meadows green; and, poured round all,
Old Ocean’s gray and melancholy waste,—
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man. The golden sun,
The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,
Are shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its bosom.—Take the wings
Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,
Or lose thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound,
Save his own dashings—yet the dead are there:
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep—the dead reign there alone.
So shalt thou rest, and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living, and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favorite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glide away, the sons of men,
The youth in life’s green spring, and he who goes
In the full strength of years, matron and maid,
The speechless babe, and the gray-headed man—
Shall one by one be gathered to thy side,
By those, who in their turn shall follow them.
So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan, which moves
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.
The Vacuum – Howard Nemerov
The house is so quiet now
The vacuum cleaner sulks in the corner closet,
Its bag limp as a stopped lung, its mouth
Grinning into the floor, maybe at my
Slovenly life, my dog-dead youth.
I’ve lived this way long enough,
But when my old woman died her soul
Went into that vacuum cleaner, and I can’t bear
To see the bag swell like a belly, eating the dust
And the woolen mice, and begin to howl
Because there is old filth everywhere
She used to crawl, in the corner and under the stair.
I know now how life is cheap as dirt,
And still the hungry, angry heart
Hangs on and howls, biting at air.
How to Choose the Right Poem
Selecting the right funeral poem starts with considering both the personality of your loved one and the people who will be attending the service. You’ll want to ensure the poem’s tone aligns with the overall atmosphere of the service, whether it’s a celebration of life or a more traditional memorial.
Consider the Deceased’s Character
The heart of choosing a meaningful funeral poem lies in understanding the unique spirit and character of your loved one. When selecting verses that capture their personality, you’ll want to reflect on their defining traits, passions, and the values they held dear.
Key considerations include:
- Their outlook on life and approach to challenges
- Personal interests and hobbies
- Communication style and personality
- Spiritual or philosophical beliefs
- Favourite literature or poetry
Consider Your Audience
When choosing a funeral poem, it’s essential to reflect on who’ll be present at the service and how they might receive the message. Your audience may include family members, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances of varying ages and backgrounds, each processing their grief differently.
Audience considerations:
- Age range of attendees (consider children present)
- Cultural and religious diversity
- Relationship to the deceased
- Emotional state of primary mourners
- Service format and timing constraints
Match the Tone of the Service
Creating harmony between your chosen poem and the service’s tone helps establish a meaningful connection with mourners. Consider whether the ceremony will be more celebratory of life or traditionally solemn, then choose poetry that reflects this sentiment.
Tone matching guidelines:
- Uplifting ceremonies: Select poems highlighting joyful memories
- Traditional services: Choose verses offering comfort through dignified expressions
- Intimate gatherings: Incorporate personal touches and shared experiences
- Celebration of life: Focus on achievements and positive impact
Length and Delivery Considerations
Beyond matching the tone of the service, practical considerations shape how your chosen poem will resonate with mourners. When selecting a funeral poem, you’ll want to keep the length manageable, typically aiming for a reading time of one to three minutes.
Practical considerations:
- Reading time (1-3 minutes recommended)
- Complexity of language and rhythm
- Emotional intensity and reader’s ability to maintain composure
- Multiple poems throughout the service
- Backup reader availability
Tips for Reading Funeral Poetry Effectively
Reading a funeral poem requires thoughtful preparation and emotional composure, so you’ll want to practise several times before the service to build confidence in your delivery.
Preparation Advice
Essential preparation steps:
- Practice multiple times in a quiet space
- Record yourself to evaluate pace and clarity
- Mark natural pausing points in the text
- Choose appropriate timing within the service
- Prepare emotionally for the reading
Emotional Management During Reading
While thorough preparation sets a strong foundation, managing your emotions during the actual reading presents its own set of challenges. You can maintain composure by practising deep breathing techniques and allowing yourself natural pauses between stanzas.
Emotional management tips:
- Focus on the message rather than personal grief
- Allow natural pauses for emotional moments
- Have a backup reader available if needed
- Practice deep breathing techniques
- Accept that showing emotion is natural and appropriate
Delivery Techniques for Maximum Impact
To deliver funeral poetry with grace and impact, mastering essential presentation techniques will enhance your tribute to the departed.
Key delivery elements:
- Maintain appropriate eye contact with the audience
- Use deliberate pauses to emphasise significant phrases
- Speak at a measured pace ensuring every word is heard
- Incorporate subtle variations in tone and volume
- Take deep breaths if becoming overwhelmed
Timing Suggestions for Funeral Readings
The perfect moment to read funeral poetry often emerges during natural transitions in the service. You’ll want to identify key pivotal points, such as after the eulogy or during the memorial portion, when attendees are most receptive to reflective moments.
Optimal timing for poetry readings:
- After the eulogy for reflection
- During memorial tributes for remembrance
- Before final prayers for comfort
- Between musical selections for variety
- At the graveside for intimate moments
Frequently Asked Questions About Funeral Poems
What poem is most commonly read at funerals?
“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” by Mary Elizabeth Frye is one of the most frequently chosen funeral poems. Its comforting message that the deceased lives on through nature’s beauty resonates with people of all backgrounds and beliefs.
How long should a funeral poem be?
Most funeral poems should take 1-3 minutes to read aloud. This length allows for meaningful reflection without overwhelming grieving attendees or disrupting the service flow.
Can I modify a funeral poem to be more personal?
Yes, many families adapt funeral verses by changing pronouns, adding personal details, or selecting specific stanzas that best reflect their loved one. However, be mindful of copyright considerations for published works.
Should I choose a religious or non-religious funeral poem?
The choice depends on the deceased’s beliefs, family preferences, and the audience attending the service. Non-religious funeral poems focus on universal themes of love and memory, while religious verses provide comfort through faith and spiritual beliefs.
What if I become too emotional to finish reading the poem?
It’s perfectly acceptable to show emotion while reading funeral poetry. Consider having a backup reader prepared, or choose a shorter poem if you’re concerned about maintaining composure. Remember that genuine emotion often enhances the poem’s impact.
Are funny funeral poems appropriate?
Humorous funeral poems can be very appropriate, especially if they reflect the deceased’s personality or if the family prefers a celebration of life approach. Consider your audience and the overall tone of the service when making this choice.
How do I choose between multiple beautiful poems?
Consider the deceased’s character, the service’s tone, and practical factors like length and readability. You might also incorporate multiple short poems throughout the service or ask different family members to read various selections.
Creating a Meaningful Memorial with Poetry
When you’re choosing a funeral poem, remember that it’s a deeply personal decision that should reflect both the deceased and your relationship. You’ll find endless options, from traditional verses to contemporary expressions, that can capture your feelings and honour your loved one’s memory.
Whether you select a famous piece or discover a lesser-known gem, the right poem will resonate with mourners and create a meaningful tribute that celebrates a life well-lived. The power of poetry lies in its ability to express what the heart feels but cannot easily articulate, providing comfort and connection during life’s most difficult moments.
When the time comes to create a lasting memorial for your loved one, consider how meaningful poetry can be incorporated into their permanent tribute. The right words, whether spoken at the service or engraved in stone, become a lasting testament to a life that mattered and a love that endures beyond physical presence.